Avery-I
needed to get as far away from my crackpot family as I could without actually
vamoosing out of the country. Skeenville had that unpretentious thing going for
it. I love it here. I think this is the kind of place where I could raise a
family. A normal family.
Whitley-You
had an immediate attraction to Luke. What was it that drew you to him?
Avery-Well,
first off, come on. I mean the guy is definitely eye candy. But he had a
sadness about him that made me curious. He was guarded, but I could tell he was
comfortable around me. I don’t know, we just clicked. Who knows why one person
makes you hopeful for the future, and another sucks the life out of you?
Whitley-Trent
cheated on you. But it sounds like you put up with a lot of stuff before you
finally pulled the plug.
Avery-Trent
was a charming bastard. When you couple that with the fact that I was lonely it
made for a bad situation. I hung in way longer than I should have because
sometimes it’s nice to have anyone rather than no one.
Whitely-But
you finally broke it off?
Avery-Yeah.
I wised up. Go figure.
Whitley-Were
you mad at Luke for coming back into the burning building to rescue you? The
Captain was pretty mad about the whole thing.
Avery-Since
we made it out alive, I think I’ll forgive the guy. Hell, if it wasn’t for Luke
saving my ass I’d be singing with the angels right now. And I’m a horrible
singer. But, yeah, I never seen the captain that mad before.
Whitley-Luke
tried to stay away from you, but he finally gave into his feelings. Do you
trust him?
Avery-After
all we’ve been through, hell yeah, I trust the guy with my life. And I know he
feels the same. I’d say we’re soul mates, but then the guys at the station
would never shut the hell up about it.
~*~BLURB:
Avery Syracuse is a New York transplant with the
Skeenville Fire Department. He’s a little rough around the edges, but loveable.
Down on his luck in the romance department, he could use some help with the
bills and is looking for a roommate when new transfer, Luke Turner arrives.
Luke is one
of the best firemen Avery has ever seen, and it doesn’t make sense for Luke to
be wasting his time in Skeenville. The two men have an instant connection,
although Luke has never been into guys before. While Avery is very attracted to
Luke, he knows there is something the guy is hiding, and he’s worried that if
they get involved, this secret may come around and bite him in the ass one day.
EXCERPT:
I ran a hand across my
face, still woozy. “Luke, you didn’t have permission to come back for me?”
“What the hell do I care
about permission? You weren’t going to make it if I didn’t get you out, Av.”
His voice broke as he said my name.
“Well, of course I’m
biased, since it’s my butt you saved.” I tried to smile and failed miserably.
“I don’t see what the
big deal is. Isn’t that what we’re supposed to do? Save people?” Luke looked at
the captain, his expression confused. “I thought that was the entire point?”
Captain nodded. “It’s a
big part of the job. But you have to follow orders. I’m sorry but I’m going to
have to write you up for this.”
That reckless thing I’d
seen at the bar that night seeped back into Luke’s gaze. “So I save a life and
I get written up? If I’d obeyed your orders like a mindless robot, you’d
probably give me a medal for good behavior, right?”
“I can’t have my guys
going rogue because they feel like it,” Captain said, while jabbing his finger
in Luke’s face.
“We should be able to
make decisions in extreme cases like this. I knew I had enough time to get him
out.”
“It doesn’t work like
that. You don’t get to call the shots, kid.”
“So you’re going to
write me up?”
“I am.”
Luke put his hands up,
agitated. “You know what? Feel free. Only write me up twice, once for going in
after Avery, and once for this.” He shoved his index finger in front of the
Captain’s nose.
Captain’s expression
morphed into fury and he batted Luke’s hand away.
“You better get your
buddy under control, Syracuse.” The captain’s face colored dark with anger.
“He’s a hair away from suspension.”
Luke curled his lip.
“This is bullshit. Bullshit.” He started to walk away and then he swung back
around. “What’s the fucking point? You know what, Captain? Just suspend my ass.
Go ahead and fucking do it. Because I’m not going to stand by and watch one
more person die. I’m not going to do it.” His voice was borderline hysterical,
his angular cheekbones painted red.
I grabbed his arm.
“Jesus, Luke. Calm the hell down.”
The Captain didn’t look
as angry anymore. He seemed more concerned than anything all of a sudden. “Take
it easy, son.”
“I should never have
come back to the job. This is bullshit. What the fuck are we even doing here?
We can’t save everybody, we fucking can’t,” he growled. “And if we try, we get
written up? What a crock of shit.”
The captain made a
conciliatory gesture toward Luke with his hands. “Son, this has been a
stressful night. I realize this might have brought up some…stuff for you.”
“Don’t you bring that
crap up right now.” He glared a warning at the captain. “Don’t you God damn
dare.”
The two of them stared
each other down as if they were gunslingers, and I hugged my pounding skull
trying to make sense of why Luke looked ready to murder Captain. “What the fuck
is going on?”
Captain sighed and
raised his hands in the air in frustration. “Get your boy under control,
Syracuse.” He walked away, shaking his head. The captain didn’t back down from
nobody. What the hell?
Luke met my gaze, speaking
in a whisper. “You know it’s bullshit, right?”
I was afraid to
answer. I might set him off again, but I
knew I had to say something. “The Captain doesn’t make the rules. He’s
following them just like the rest of us.”
He frowned. “You’re on
his side?”
I shook my head, patting
my chest. “Obviously I’m glad you ignored him in this instance.”
His stare was cold and
hard. “I hate this fucking job right now.”
I swallowed, but it was
difficult since my throat was dry as the desert. If he hadn’t come back for me
I would be dead. It was that simple. “Don’t, because you’re great at it. You
saved my ass.”
“So I broke a stinking
rule. So fucking what?” he asked, looking bewildered.
“I understand, but you
gotta watch how you talk to the captain.”
“His attitude of follow
the rules no matter what bugs the shit out of me.” He hugged his body tight,
his eyes glittering.
“He’s been doing this a
long time. He deserves respect.”
“It was a snap decision.
I didn’t have time to argue the point with him. You’d have been gone.” He
snapped his fingers. “Just like that.”
I touched his arm
wanting to pull him to me and comfort him. If only I could wipe the crazy
expression off his face and reassure him everything was okay. His muscles
trembled under my fingers. “I know. But I’m fine.”
He rubbed his face
roughly with both hands “Yeah, but if I’d have listened to Captain, you
wouldn’t be.”
“Come on, relax.” I
gripped his shoulders and shook him with a gentle touch. “You’re worrying me.”
“Why did I return to
this dreary cesspool of a job?” he asked, looking around as if there was
someone nearby with the answer.
“You love this job.”
He kept talking as if he
couldn’t hear me. “Really, what’s the point? One minute you’re here and then
poof, you’re not.”
I dragged Luke away from
the group of guys nearby, so they couldn’t hear how irrational he sounded.
“What’s going on?” He was scaring me. The only other time I’d ever seen him
this out of control was when Trent had been bullying that kid in the bar. That
same raw pain floated like an oil slick in his gaze tonight.
“I don’t know what I was
thinking, getting involved with you.” He squinted at me as if he’d never really
seen me before. “I’m seriously fucked up.” He pointed to his head.
“Are you trying to say
you regret spending time with me?” Had sleeping with me been too much for him?
I didn’t regret one second I’d spent with him. He was wiggling deeper and
deeper into my soul every day, but was it possible he didn’t feel the same way
about me?
His gaze was bright and
he licked his lips. “Not, not exactly.” He closed his eyes and whispered. “God,
not at all.”
“Then what is it?”
“I’m starting to feel
shit for you, Av.” He opened his eyes, and clawed at his chest.
“And that’s a bad
thing?”
“It is. You don’t
understand. I’m like some stupid video game and if I take one more hit, I’m
going to explode into a million pieces.”
“I…I’m feeling things
too. You don’t see me going nuts over it.” The idea that he would pull the plug
on us made me nauseous. I’d feared he’d come to his senses one day, but I hadn’t
realized how much it would hurt when he did.
“I’m in way over my head
with you.” He looked a little shell-shocked as he spoke. “I’m afraid to get more involved.”
“Must be nice to be able
to turn it on and off.”
“I can’t seem to turn it
off. That’s the problem. But I’ve got to try.” He grimaced.
“So that’s it? You’re
gay experiment is concluded?” I asked keeping my voice hard and emotionless. I
didn’t want him to see that he was crushing me, ripping my heart out and
stomping on it. If he could actually stop being with me so easily I had
obviously fooled myself into thinking I meant more to him than I did.
He chewed his lip for a
moment, studying me like a scientist might examine something in a petri dish,
then nodded. “Tonight gave me clarity.”
“You’re anything but
clear, buddy.” My heart was pounding so hard in my chest I was light headed.
“It’s for the best.” He
wouldn’t meet my gaze as he spoke.
I tried one last time to
get through to him. He was slipping away from me as surely as warm blood
hemorrhaged from the sliced veins of a suicide victim. “Look, I’m the one who
almost bought the farm tonight. So why are you the one having the melt down?”
He gazed at me as if I
must be the stupidest person on the earth. “Don’t you see, Av? It’s not the one
who dies who has the problem.”
“Being dead seems like a
big fucking problem to me,” I said.
“Oh no, Av,” he
whispered, his eyes feverish. “It’s much worse to be the one left behind.”
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